Newsflash: You are the only one in charge of your life
Do you complain to your friends and family about how your life is hard? Do you feel stagnant, disappointed, frustrated, or worthless? Then here’s an idea. Start asking yourself what you can do about your problems. After all, you are in charge of your life. Not work. Not school. Not your mom. Just you.
I would vote that if you’re feeling stressed about life being so large and you being so tiny (which often happens to me), you line up your problems one by one, asking yourself, “What can I do about this?” This type of questioning will bring you peace in one of three ways:
- You realize you can’t solve your problem. Options moving forward: to get over it or decide to put it from your mind until you’re ready to deal with it. Example: You’re worried about losing weight, but right now you have to take finals and plan for graduation. Decide you’ll evaluate your diet and exercise plan in a week, when these obstacles have passed.
- You realize you don’t want to solve your problem. Options moving forward: to put it from your mind until you’re ready to deal with it or embrace your situation as a conscious choice. Example: You hate your job, but you don’t really want to search for a new one. Decide you’ll remind yourself of the good things about it, such as lots of pay, good experience, or flexible hours. Even if you hate it, it’s a means to an end. So now you’re not trapped, you’re choosing to stay.
- You realize how to solve your problem. Options moving forward: to commit yourself to change, or to remind yourself situations are only as difficult as you make them. Example: You have a friend that is a heinous person. Every minute of being near her makes you feel like chewing off your own foot. Decide to stop seeing her, without worrying about the social fallout. It’s only as hard as you make it.
The realization that you are in charge of your own life is a powerful one. It can be very relaxing to face your problems instead of feeling like they or circumstances control you, since it frees up a lot of emotional energy. Have you found any of this true? How do you take ownership of your life?
I think one thing I notice, particularly around this time of year, is that it’s difficult not to think long-term, or to fear that if you’re NOT thinking ENOUGH about long-term, then life will just slip away unnoticed and un-lived.
This time of year is strange…people are graduating, the anniversary of YOUR graduation(s) is/are here, and with the season of spring being associated with ‘new beginnings’ and all that, it’s just a natural time of year to ask, “Where am I? What am I doing? Where am I headed?” and then suffering the subsequent panic attack/headache/personal crisis that inevitably ensues…at least in my case.
But I think the thing to ask is, “What are my priorities?” because you need to answer that question before you can actually make any changes/’solve’ the problems you may have in your life. Priorities may change, but defining what they are right now can mean the difference between staying at a cushy job, applying to grad schools, or chucking it all and joining the circus to see the world. I think if you can prioritize money, friends, family, luxury goods, the willingness to be in debt, schedule flexibility, and life experiences, you can solve any problem logically.
Comment by msimps01 on May 5, 2009 at 11:06 am
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