Wee Feast

Three reasons why it’s a good idea to stay in touch with people:

1. Networking: potential business ventures for both of you.
2. Great memories: allowing for a real bond to form over time.
3. Popularity: staying in touch makes people like you.

My first tip for keeping in touch is to figure our your best communication style. Maybe you hate the phone, but like sending long, rambling e-mails. Or you prefer to watch the same TV show each week and then share your thoughts on IM during your lunch break. Perhaps you just want to read what your buddies Twittering about, and send a few responses when something makes you laugh. You can send postcards on vacations, hire a skywriter for their birthday, or invite them for a beer when they’re in town.

You do not, however, have to send Christmas cards if you hate hand-writing notes, go to their theater debuts if you loathe crowds, or comment on their blog if you’re freaked out by the idea of the internet. The point is to pick a type of communication you enjoy! If you limit the idea of “keeping in touch” to a task you must accomplish with a method that’s not a good fit, you’ll never do it.

After you figure out how you like to communicate, the next best tip is to narrow your list. Does this go against the idea of setting up a wide network? I would say no, not at first. If you are trying to build your skills at keeping in touch, it’s a good idea to start small and manageable.

It’s also a important to be honest with yourself: are you bad at keeping in touch because you’d rather let some relationships go? I give you permission to jettison them from your to-do list! Let’s focus on the people you’re excited to maintain ties with, and let the rest go for now. Once you’ve gotten into the habit of being connected with this group, you can slowly branch out if you feel it’s necessary.

My third tip is “no regrets.” Don’t be afraid to reach out to someone you haven’t made contact with in months or years if you’d still like to maintain ties with them. I have some friends with who I’ve let time pass for some reason or other, and still been delighted to hear from them—even seemingly out of the blue. Remember, the people that you are nervous to reach out to are also probably nervous to reconnect with you too. It’s easy to feel like it’s been too long to fix things, but the reality of the situation is that if you make the first move, the other party will probably be relieved.

Finally, if you’d like some inspiration, here are some of the ways I’ve kept in touch. Maybe one of these will spark your interest:

• Send scribbled notes on torn looseleaf like you’re in middle school.
• Ask if you can visit for their birthday.
• Invite them over for dinner.
• Give them books you finished reading and loved.
• Send them short e-mails with job links that might be of interest.
• Plan a reunion vacation.
• Call when you’re waiting at the airport and have time to pass.
• Start a small listserv.
• Read their blog.
• Mail a care package of cookies.
• Subscribe them to one of your magazines.
• Message them when you’re going to be visiting their city.
• Send regards via mutual friends and acquaintances.

How are you at keeping in touch?